Category Archives: Cooking

Beijing Hotel Brochure, Travel Is Fun, Translation Can Be Hazardous!

Brilliant Beijing Hotel Brochure –

Translated as only the Chinese can!

A friend went to Beijing recently
and was given this brochure by her hotel.
It is precious.

She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.
Obviously, it has been translated directly,
word for word from Mandarin to English.

Chinesebrochure

Getting There:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport.
The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore.
Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water.
You will know that you are getting near the hotel,
because you will go round the bend.
The manager will await you in the entrance hall.
He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel:

*This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome.
We of course are always pleased to accept adultery.
Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings
to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate
in the bar and expose themselves to others.
But please note that ladies are not allowed
to have babies in the bar. We organize social games,
so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:

*Our menus have been carefully chosen
to be ordinary and unexciting.
At dinner, our quartet will circulate
from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:

* Every room has excellent facilities
for your private parts.
In winter, every room is on heat.
Each room has a balcony offering views
of outstanding obscenity! …
You will not be disturbed by traffic noise,
since the road between the hotel and the lake
is used only by pederasts.

Bed:

*Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition.
If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid.
Please take advantage of her.
She will be very pleased to squash your shirts,
blouses and underwear.
If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above All:

*When you leave us at the end of your holiday,
you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

Beijing Hotel Brochure

_________________________________

All the fun, excitement that travel brings, be sure to know your translations,
or expect the unexpected responses!
I recall a 2 week trip to the Easter Block countries in ’85,  before the Iron Curtain came down.
The bus driver and tour guide were keen on my travel friend and me.
Being from Sarajevo, the bus driver spoke no English, nor anything I studied!
It didn’t go far, due to ‘nothing to talk about’!

Another example of different cultures, languages and
what we as westerners may feel comfortable with was…

One evening in Warsaw, Poland, my travel friend and I
were sitting in the lobby of this fine hotel waiting
for the tour guide and our group for dinner.
We asked why men kept circling us in the lobby.

The tour guide explained, only “professional women” sat alone in the hotel lobby.

We laughed at that one, and said, “lets hurry out of here“!

FRIEND me on FB
To your many safe and fun travels!
Karen
Some funny Signs- wacky translations!

To tired to translate to English!

Asian-Signs-13
Asian-Signs-19

Asian-Signs-26

Asian-Signs-35

Asian-Signs-36

GOAT

Chevres en equilibre- Goats Balancing on a Steel Ribbon.

Chevres en equilibre- Goats Balancing on a Steel Ribbon.

It never ceases to amaze me and millions
of others to watch animals or people
doing goofy things.
These goats in France were balancing
on an undulating piece of sheet metal
that you could probably watch on loop.
Like any great viral movement,
it is hard to describe or why we enjoy it.

These three goats enjoying their version of king-of-the-hill.

The video was posted this week and has already
spiked at over 6 million viewers.

“Dimanche, vers l’heure du déjeuner, la petite famille découvert un nouveau jeu : Cette tôle ^^. J’ai filmé mes chèvres (dont le nom restera secret par respect pour leur vie privée :) ) se balançant. Dans la soirée, j’ai voulu l’envoyer à un ami puis tout s’est enchaîné très vite. Je ne pense pas qu’elles se rendent vraiment compte de ce qui leur arrive : elle continuent à ruminer comme si de rien n’était…
Qui s’amuse le plus ? je l’ignore.”

This description, in his native French, roughly translates to:

Sunday, around lunch time, the little family discovered a new game. This sheet. I filmed my goats (whose names will remain secret out of respect for their privacy:) ) balancing. In the evening, I wanted to send it to one friend then everything followed very quickly. I don’t think they [the goats] realize what’s happening. They still ruminate over it as if nothing had happened…
Whose having the most fun? Not sure at all.

Chevres en equilibre- Goats Balancing on a Steel Ribbon.

Blog and make money??

Yes that’s right, here’s the best part,
no blogging experience needed.
Simple step by step training even an ‘old goat’
can do it!

To find out more click here.

Undies bag

3 Tips to Make Your Life Easier

How come no one ever told me?

You’ve probably been ignoring this feature.
I know I did not know these 3 tips to make your life easier.

FOIL WRAP BOXES

ALuminum FOil

HERE is TIP #1
Most aluminum foil boxes have press-in tabs
that secure the roll in place, so you don’t
have worry about it flying out every time
you rip off a sheet.

 

You’ve been dispensing Tic Tacs the hard way.

A TIC Tac

TIP # 2
You know how when you violently
shake a container of Tic Tacs
into your palm it seems as though
you always end up with zero or seven?
Avoid that altogether by letting a
mint gently glide into the tiny lid crevice.

 

Ketchup Cups at Fast Food Restaurants

a Ketchup cup

Tip #3
Instead of grabbing multiple cups of ketchup,
simply pull apart at the edges for twice the space.

Now for the BONUS Tip #4…

 

Soft-drink lids can double as coasters.

Soft Drink CUp coaster

3 Tips to Make Your Life Easier

Undies bag

Successful Ad Campaigns

Whipbag

Undies bag

PIg tails bag

Nailbiter bag

MOnkeybag

Man head bag

Jump rope bag

Headbag

Hanging bag

Gunbag

Geese bag

Crotch bag

Cokebottlebag

Childhandholdbag

Cardoorbag

Blood donor bag

Barbellbag

Ab bag

The Chinese have a saying that goes something like this:

‘When someone shares

with you something of value,

you have an obligation to

share it with others!’

 

I just did.. Your turn~!

tipping-servers-200_5-620x341

Tipping Servers $200, Wouldn’t that feel great to do?

Tipping Servers $200

The Joy of seeing someone’s
face when you reward them, is immeasurable.

Many times we are stuck in a rut
and can’t see clear to
give freely.

Sometimes Giving doesn’t have to come
in the form of Money, but time.
You can give the give of listening, doing
such as reading to children, adults who
need help in that basic form of communication.

You can also give back by writing FOR people.
By that I mean, there are lots of people have arthritis, shut ins..etc.

Or how about picking someone up and drive them
somewhere. Not everyone has a car, or is able to drive.
You were going to go do errands anyway, right?!

Check out how I am able to give back monetarily
to organizations,  and to people I know or live near in my community.
As well as giving back in time and help.

The Big Brothers Big Sisters organization gives adult volunteers (“bigs”) the chance to build lasting one-on-one relationships with children in need of caring adults in their lives [source: Big Brothers Big Sisters].

Many children’s hospitals rely on volunteers for activities such as tutoring patients, reading stories, monitoring playrooms and assisting families with whatever they may need during a child’s stay [source: Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia].

Most volunteer opportunities involving children will require a background check and a commitment to volunteer for a certain number of hours per week over a specified duration, such as three, six or 12 months.

In some cases, volunteering with children can be financially beneficial as well as personally fulfilling: Some foster grandparent volunteers qualify to receive a tax-free hourly stipend, and a growing number of public school systems offer seniors a rebate on property taxes in exchange for their time volunteering in the classroom [sources: Senior Corps, Garcia].

Back to the people giving a tipping servers $200,
any help and recognition is a good thing, and $200
would certainly help anyone!
I loved this.

Please comment and tell me what you think about
giving time and money.
Thanks, Karen

8 Hawaii Rentals That Will Put Your Hotel To Shame

In Denver, recently I chose to stay in a
Victorian House that I was very pleased with,
instead of the usual hotels,
elevators full of people,

and expensive restaurants
in hotel or nearby.
IT was a fabulous way
to spend time in a location..

My choice worked out great, so if you have
a sense of adventure, even just a little bit,

this is one option that will cut down costs,
and get you closer to the experience you want-
if you want to be a part of the town you are visiting!

Hawaii is a place like no other,
so if you come to visit, why not stay
in a home like no other.

Picture yourself in a yurt, micro-house,
tree house, or even a yacht on a mountain.
That’s right, a yacht on top of a mountain.

Here are eight of the smallest, tallest, weirdest and, in their own way, Hawaii-est homes to rent on AirBnB.

1. Chic Eco Yurt Home Pahoa, Big Island
o-YURT-AIRBNB-570

First used by nomads in Central Asia,
yurts are rotund, portable homes.
This particular yurt boasts a
“food island” of passion fruit,
mango, avocado and sweet potato
growing outside its door.
Yurting is sort of like
luxury camping

(which apparently is called glamping these days)

but you still have to have your survival hat on.
For instance, the yurt is
BYOPT — bring your own propane tank —

if you want to cook or use hot water.

2. Kailua Coconut Micro-House Kailua, Oahuo-MICROHOUSE-AIRBNB-570
Personally designed and built by its loving owners,
the Kailua Coconut micro-house spans a proud 80 square feet.
The charm of this lovely nest is in the details —
the outdoor shower has a
Japanese geta shoe sculpture
as its door handle,
tiki face carvings pop out
of the walls, and the windows
above the bed have intricate fish
etched into the glass.
Due to its itty bitty size, you are not allowed
to cook inside the house, but who needs
to cook when you can pick a mango tree
from your lanai (outdoor porch)?

3. Kealakekua Bay Bali Cottage Captain Cook, Big Island
o-BALI-AIRBNB-570
The Bali Cottage was built with
old Bali teak panels and features
not only an outdoor shower but the
much rarer outdoor kitchen.

The yard has a pond and tiki torches,
and is moments away from Kealakekua Bay,
which is home to dolphins, manta rays,
and sea turtles. The bay is most famous
due to Captain James Cook, who was the
first European to land on the Hawaiian Islands,

and who was later killed by Hawaiian villagers
at Kealakekua Bay in 1779.

4. Unique Yacht on a Mountain Haleiwa, Oahu
o-BOAT-AIRBNB-570

The Brainstorm was a faithful vessel
whose glory days conquering the seas have passed.
The current owners took pity on the
retired boat and in a stroke of
what we can only consider utter genius,
hauled it to the top of a
mountain on the north shore of Oahu.

Tucked away in the woods, the boat’s backyard
is a maze of gorgeous trails that
go deep into valleys and
high above the ocean.
But don’t be mistaken,
you’re still on a yacht,
shielded by a glass roof,
surrounded by a giant mosquito net
and stocked with a
flat screen TV and wifi.

5. The Matted Root Kilauea, Kauai
o-TREEHOUSE-AIRBNB-570

This treehouse overlooks an expansive,
lush green property replete with
papaya, avocado and coconut trees.

Our favorite detail of this Kauai treehouse
is the outdoor bathroom system.
Instead of a lock,
there is a rock outside the door
: turn it to one side to say “OK”
or the other to say “Wait.”
Take a ride on the giant tire swing
in your yard before grabbing a bike
and heading to
Moloaa Bay,
which you
really can’t miss considering it was
one of the original shooting locations
for
Gilligan’s Island.

Maybe just a three hour tour?

6. North Shore Eco Hideaway Waialua, Oahuo-ECO-LODGE-AIRBNB-570

This abode at the base of Mt. Ka’ala,
Oahu’s highest peak, is entirely off
the grid thanks to solar panels and a
private water well. Nestled in a
gorgeous river valley without a
neighbor in sight, the eco lodge
is composed of a giant safari tent
and a 200 square-foot lanai.
Walk a mile to the neighboring
organic farm, buy your produce
directly from the farmer and
cut it up in your outdoor kitchen.

It doesn’t get more farm to table than that.

7. The Tree House Haiku, Maui
o-BALI-HUT-AIRBNB-570

If you ship it, they will come.
This tree hut was built in Bali,
shipped to Maui and set atop a
17-acre private valley with ocean views.

You may have to walk to both the kitchen and bathroom,
but the artist’s property is
covered in steel sculptures
you can peruse along your way.

8. Octagon Studio Makawao, Maui
o-OCTAGON-STUDIO-AIRBNB-570
We saved the smelliest for last.
The Octagon Studio is located at the

Aromatherapy Foundation of Maui’s
“botanical educational estate and farm.”
What does that mean? You can roam the gardens,
pick your favorite plants and use “atomizers”
to create your own scents.

You can even get onsite aromatherapy massages.

In fact, there’s no avoiding immersing yourself
in the fragrances of the Aromatherapy Foundation —
any overnight residents are
required to participate in a
study on essential oils for five minutes a day.
Oh, and your digs happen to be a
gorgeous studio with ocean views and
an in-ground jacuzzi.

Not too stinky.
I loved stumbling on this article in the Huffingtonpost today,
Unable to locate the author’s name to attribute this article to,
I chose to share it with you anyway, because after all,
who wouldn’t want to know about great choices elsewhere!

All the best, K-  Another Way of Living, AWOL
www.lifestylegoldmine.com

World’s Marijuana Friendly Countries, Cheech & Chong

Top Ten Pot Weed Movies. Cheech & Chong minute 5:05

Uruguay is set to make the country
the first in the world to create a
state-run marijuana industry — fixing
the price at a point low enough to
squeeze the black market and allowing
the government to control cultivation
and distribution. This Landmark legislation
bill has the backing of President José Mujica,
who has dismissed charges that legalizing
marijuana could lead people to try harder drugs.

“It’s actually the opposite,” he told CNN.
“People seek crack and other more dangerous
poisons when they have no access to marijuana.”
Whether the government becomes a major dealer
may depend on the price and quality of the weed,
which people would be allowed to grow for themselves.

Uruguay is the first country to announce plans to
nationalize the pot business, but there are plenty
of other places where you can smoke freely.
Marijuana is not classified as a drug in North Korea,
soldiers and manual laborers smoke it as a
popular way to wind down after a long day.
Possessing small amounts for personal use
has been decriminalized in many European
and South American countries, and the
policies have been shown to have little
impact on drug use. After Portugal eliminated
criminal penalties for drug users in 2001,
shifting resources from law enforcement to
drug prevention and rehabilitation programs,
a number of metrics (see infographic for details)
pointed to the experiment’s success.
On a Humorous note, minute 5:04 is where
Cheech and Chong were THE breakout
movie duo to highlight Pot.

2013_08_WorldWeed_0

Shark Week Watch ‘Shark Cat’ Clean Up !

Hysterical footage..
Funny thing..
we all stare
and
stare..
Had to laugh at myself,
but I do find this almost like watching a fish tank…
only more fun!

Reality tv show just launched last night..
see if you like it as much as the CAT!
Tough call!
LOL

1Hot Jungle, 2 Mansions, 4 Amazing Women, 4 Cool Dudes, 1 Hollywood Camera Crew = 1 Riveting Show, Stay Tuned

New Entertainment Coming…One more tip before it’s live Sent Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Project AWOL reality show is getting closer and closer.

In fact, we are discussing the launch tonight at 9p on our team webinar

You can be one of the first guests to watch episode 1 of season 1
Image

This may sound a little crazy, but I believe this show is a bigger deal than a summer blockbuster.

Let me explain:

People all over the nation (and the world) follow the buzz of a summer blockbuster

sometimes weeks in advance. I know my friends did before

Guiermo del Toro’s recent flick
Iron Man 3,
Ridley Scott’s Prometheus
and others.

They start researching insider info before the movie’s release date.

They get focused. They anticipate a great time.

I get pumped up for a great blockbuster,

but I also realize ..life goes on.

Same as it did before.

Project AWOL show is different.

You are going to witness proven life-changing information.

You are going to be given solutions that immediately

improve the quality of your life

I believe this first episode is a bigger deal
than even the biggest summer blockbuster.
It is about us, real people who make changes.

I’m reposting “Create A Life With Project A.W.O.L.” to make sure you’re 100% prepared:

http://followkarenellis.com/2013/07/29/what-would-you-do-to-have-a-great-lifestyle/

&

I posted Project A.W.O.L.’s photo album from Thailand just for fun!

CLICK ON IMAGE

Yacht1

 

To OUR Success!
Win Win Win

Karen Ellis